thirteen ball

Stay Retired Brett

// July 29th, 2008 // No Comments » // Give Me A Break!, Sports

Would someone please tell me why athletes decide that they want to retire…make a big freaking deal about it….the networks show their highlight reels….and then talk about the gaping hole in their respective sport because they are no longer playing…..and then all of a sudden decide that THEY WANT TO PLAY AGAIN?!?!?

Brett Favre is a great football player, but for Pete’s sake…why the hell did you retire in the first place if you were going to come right back? I’m so sick and tired of hearing about him coming back. I hope he ends up playing for a team that the Steelers play for so that we can sack his indecisive ass!

Crude Awakening

// March 9th, 2008 // No Comments » // Give Me A Break!, Politics

Could someone please tell me how President Bush doesn’t know that gas is approaching $4 a gallon? Is there any chance that we can hold the election ASAP so that we can get rid of him sooner?

Big thanks to Marcus for letting me know about this video clip. I need to start watching The Daily Show more often!

Dangerous Job

// May 16th, 2007 // No Comments » // Give Me A Break!

Here’s a job that you will NEVER get me to do. Ever. Not even for $1,000,000.  You’ve gotta be our of your mind to do this kind of work.  And here I thought that being a firefighter was a dangerous job!

Take Their Certificates Away

// May 14th, 2007 // 1 Comment » // Give Me A Break!, News Stories

I don’t know who certifies teachers in Tennessee, but whomever does needs to revoke the certification of these dumb asses who staged a fake gunman attack on their school. Nothing like scaring the living shit out of your young students.  Totally unnecessary.  They all should be fired.  Remind me NEVER to send my kids to that school.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

// May 12th, 2007 // No Comments » // Give Me A Break!, Technology

Google tells web sites not to do certain things to get higher rankings on their site — and then they allow Volkswagen to get away with something that other web sites have been banned for in the past. Bunch of hypocrites! The almighty dollar rules again!

I Get The Hint!

// March 26th, 2007 // No Comments » // Give Me A Break!

Look. I know that I’ve gained weight. Much more than I thought I would have after college. I mean, I used to run marathons! But here I sit, knowing that I need to work out and lose a lot of weight to get back into the shape that I want to. And you know who has been the biggest proponent of this? Waitresses! What you say? How are they helping you? Let me tell you.

In the past 3 months, I have been out to eat. That into itself isn’t the big deal. When I’ve been out, I have ordered a Coke or Pepsi to drink. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. I know I should be ordering the diet pop, but I don’t particularly like it, so I stick with the sweeter stuff that tastes good.

The big deal is that at four separate restaurants each of the waitresses has said “Um..did you want regular or diet?” — even though I specifically said “I’ll take a Coke” or “I’ll take a regular Coke/Pepsi”. It just happened again today when I went to lunch with a buddy of mine. Look, I know I’m pudgy, but you don’t have to make it any worse by questioning my choice of pop. I told you I wanted a Coke, not a diet one — just a stinkin’ regular Coke!

So for all of you waitresses out there — I KNOW I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, OK? Stop asking me if I want a Diet Coke– as thought it’s some subtle hint from you that I should drink something else. Enough already!