A Room Full Of Cards

Published by Joe | Filed under Religion

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. “I wowed ‘em,” he later told his father, Bruce. “It’s a killer. It’s the bomb. It’s the best thing I ever wrote..” It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend’s house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian’s essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. “I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it,” Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son’s vision of life after death. “I’m happy for Brian. I know he’s in heaven. I know I’ll see him.”

Brian’s Essay: The Room…

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I have liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I have betrayed.” The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed at ” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve yelled at my brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger”, “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked “TV Shows I have watched”, I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it,seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. “No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.” I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”-Phil. 4:13 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” If you feel the same way, please share this story with others so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also. My “People I shared the gospel with” file just got bigger, how about yours?

All Star Tailgating

Published by Joe | Filed under Sports

If I had an extra $20K, this is exactly what I’d use it for. Awesome!

Blogging About Doug’s Blog…

Published by Joe | Filed under News Stories

…which was mentioned on another person’s blog! My buddy and former co-worker Doug Derda was recently mentioned on GlobalErie, a blog devoted to Doug’s hometown. The article talks about Doug’s podcast site — “Should I Drink That?” which he has been doing a great job on with our mutual friend Brad “Sick Puppy” Brown. Way to go on the media props Doug!

Does What Happens In The Facebook Stay In The Facebook?

Published by Joe | Filed under Technology

I’ve enjoyed using Facebook for the past year or so. It’s helped me reconnect with long lost friends and kept me up-to-date on what’s going on in people’s lives. I know that part of the fun about Facebook is to reveal some of your personal information, but this web site (and what it says about Facebook) gives me the creeps.

The Fail Blog

Published by Joe | Filed under General

Dammit. First it was “Cliff Yablonski Hates You“. Then it was “I Can Has Cheezeburger”. Now “The Fail Blog” is the latest web site that I have wasted too much time looking at — although there are some really funny “fails” on the site.

Country I Love

Published by Joe | Filed under Politics

Senator Obama has released his first general election commercial. It’s called “County I Love” — and while it is good, it’s a damn shame that he had to film it at all. I can’t believe that people would actually think that someone running for president of the United States didn’t love the United States or was “less patriotic” because he didn’t wear a flag pin on their lapel. Stupid petty crap like this is what is wrong with politics today.

Vice President Hagel

Published by Joe | Filed under Politics

You know…I would’ve never thought about this as a possibility until I read this article, but I gotta say that I think I’d vote for this ticket if it became a reality. I have admired Senator Hagel for his stance against the Iraq War and his attempts to be bipartisan in the past. I highly doubt that “lever puller” Democrats would vote for a Republican on their ticket, but it would be one helluva bold statement for Senator Obama to ask him to be his running mate.

Been Down On A (Sub)marine Lately?

Published by Joe | Filed under Humor

I know that I shouldn’t laugh at someone defacing an advertisement, but this one is freaking hilarious!

The Crappening and SiCKO

Published by Joe | Filed under News Stories

It was a movie weekend in the Polk household. After seeing all of the previews for “The Happening”, Melissa and I were excited to see it on Friday night. I know that his most recent movies stunk, but I was holding out hope that M. Night Shayamalan’s newest flick would help him rebound from The Village and The Lady In The Water. Unfortunately, he just continued down the path of terrible movies with a movie with occassional gore, terrible acting and a plot that started strong and fizzled out in the end. It was honestly one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time.

Saturday night brought about better viewing days as Melissa and I watched SiCKO. Once again, Michael Moore does not disappoint. It’s really depressing to see the differences between health care in our country and how people are treated and taken care in other countries. I highly recommend checking out this flick — especially if you’ve seen Bowling For Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11.

Big Bird Unmasked

Published by Joe | Filed under Being Daddy, News Stories

Know who Caroll Spinney is? Didn’t think so. I didn’t know either until I watched this video about him and his 40 years playing Big Bird and Oscar. I have always wondered who played him since the voice hasn’t changed since I started watching it as a kid. Now I know why!